by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. If any emotion rules supreme when a pet dies, it is guilt. No matter what the circumstances of our loss, guilt is there, grabbing us by the throat. It haunts our days, ruins our sleep, and tarnishes our memories. Often, guilt goes beyond the loss itself; we may start to feel guilty for just about everything. Guilt...
by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. There is a stage of grief that one hears very little, if anything, about. It's the hidden stage, a stage that friends and family may have difficulty understanding. It's a stage when people are most likely to ask why you are grieving -- because your pet hasn't even died yet! It's the stage I call "pre-loss bereavement."...
by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. When a pet is suffering from an illness that has no ultimate cure, our first (and lasting) impulse is to do whatever we can to alleviate the symptoms of that illness, so that the pet can continue to joy a happy, pain-free life. Today, thankfully, there are many treatments that can assist and even completely alleviate...
by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. Pets and children seem to just naturally go together. Researchers who study child behavior and development have come up with a number of complicated explanations for the reasons children and pets mesh so beautifully. They speak of the numerous benefits children derive from this relationship, including an understanding of responsibility, interpersonal interactions, communication and more. Those of...
by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. "It was the most tragic, traumatic, and emotionally devastating experience I had ever been through. I didn't know what to do. I cried day and night." (Dorothy R., Alabama) "I felt like someone had ripped out my insides." (Karen A., Illinois) "I never knew anything could hurt so bad. I cried a whole ocean of tears. I went...
by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. The world has just ended. Your pet -- your friend, your confidante, the companion who was always there for you -- has died. Dog, cat, horse, bird, hamster, ferret -- species doesn't matter. Age doesn't matter. All that matters is the huge hole that has just entered your life. That, and the grief. Conventional wisdom suggests that...
There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows, hills and valleys with lush green grass. When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place. There is always food and water and warm spring weather. All...
When your pet dies, how soon should you get a new one? Until recently, the standard answer has been "right away!" That may not always be the best advice, however: Obtaining a new pet before you have had time to work through your grief can cause problems for both you and the pet. So when is the right time? There is no...
by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. Sooner or later, any discussion of pet loss comes around to this question. You may have asked it yourself -- or, perhaps, you may have wondered how to answer when your child asks it of you. Lengthy articles have been written on both sides of the argument. A recent ABC News poll showed that 47% of...
by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. Many think of bereavement as beginning after loss. For many, however, grief can begin much earlier. Often, it begins the day you realize that your pet is approaching the end of its life -- even though the final loss of that pet may still be many months distant. This stage of grief is especially difficult, because it...