26 Sep Sar-Bear Stare
It hasn’t even been 12 hours yet since I made the heart-wrenching decision to drive my best Big-Little Baby Sara (not to be confused with her feline sister, Lola, my Little-Big Baby) to the vet one last time as her seizures became uncontrollable. Having spent 6.5 years together after having met you at the Fairfax County Animal Shelter, when I picked the quiet, scared, little timid girl out of the crowd and you sat on my lap in an instant…I knew it was love at first sit. I can’t believe you are gone. Dear Lord, it happened so fast. But that is the reality of our healthy old girl with a brain tumor…I knew your departure from our world would be sudden and swift. Which is why I told you every night…and tucked you in before bed…how much I love you.
What words do I have to share your kindness, empathy, patience, and forgiveness to the world? Well, there is your first name, Sara. And of course, your middle name, which you so genuinely earned by being just who you are…Perfect. Sara “Perfect” Bettis.
You got along with everybody, big, small, feline, canine, aggressive and scared, or outgoing and playful. That stare of yours though…melted hearts. With those wide Boxer eyes, you gazed deep into our souls and helped us become better people day by day just getting to be around you. I myself had the rare honor of not only learning from you but being your guardian, and going from young, dumb emotional 20-something-year-old to nearing mid-30s man who feels that, with your training (did someone say treat??), I’m ready to be a dad.
These last years have been painful, watching you go from brain tumor diagnosis to learning to control your seizures, to a potential cancer diagnosis, and now to today…losing you. There have been heart-wrenching, anxiety-filled late nights of terror, repeated swipes of my credit card, Platinum Rewards Members at the Emergency Vet, asking family and friends for financial support, and the consideration of selling my photography gear if the bills became too much. And I would do it again in a heartbeat.
I miss you baby, my Big-Little Lady. You are a good girl…you are such a good girl. The goodest of girls. And you will always be my good girl. Love you.