My baby girl, I called you that more than I said your name. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, and I miss you so much. Milton misses you, and he seeks out his friend. I will always love you. I will never stop loving you, and I wish things could be so very different. I will alwyas miss you in my computer chair, circling around me, like a shark waiting for the moment to strike before you’d hop in my lap and purr. I’m going to miss waking up in the middle of the night hearing you purr, looking at me. And I’m going to miss having a little guardian who’d sleep under the bed, keeping me safe from the monsters under there, although we both know, you just felt cozy under there. That was your safe place as the years went on. I’m sorry I spent so much time at work, so much time away, and I hope that this makes me seek to take my time with your brother more seriously. I will make your loss count, although I wish you were here in my lap one more time, on a cozy Saturday, playing games, with nothing to do but hold you and stroke your nose and head. My baby girl, baby baby girl. I love you so much. I love you. Those last words I spoke in your ear are also the first I ever spoke to you. Oh, I love you.
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